An Honest Guide to Discussing Grooming with Your Partner

We need to talk about the conversation nobody wants to have.

You’ve had “The Talk” about where the relationship is going. You’ve probably had the talk about finances, or where to spend the holidays. But there is one conversation that makes even the most confident men stammer like teenagers:

The Grooming Talk.

It usually goes one of two ways. Either you want to try a new grooming habit (like waxing) but you’re afraid your partner will think it’s “weird” or “unmanly.” OR, you have a preference for how they groom, but you’re terrified of hurting their feelings or sounding superficial.

So, you say nothing. You suffer in silence with the scratchy beard burn, or you keep sweating under a sweater because you’re afraid to shave your back.

Let’s stop that. We’re adults. Intimacy is about communication, and that includes communicating about body hair. Here is your guide to navigating the “Other Talk” with respect, confidence, and zero drama.

Scenario 1: Telling Them You Want to Change

This is common. You want to get a Male Brazilian, or wax your chest, or clean up your legs. But you’re worried. Will she think it’s too feminine? Will he think I’m high-maintenance?

The Strategy: Own Your Comfort 

Do not frame this as a question. Frame it as a personal upgrade. If you act sheepish about it, they’ll react with skepticism. If you act confident, they’ll react with interest.

• The Script: “I booked an appointment to get my [back/chest/groin] waxed. Honestly, the hair has been driving me crazy—it’s hot, it’s itchy, and I just feel cleaner and more confident when it’s tamed. I wanted to give it a shot.”
• Why it works: You made it about your comfort and your confidence. It’s hard to argue with “this makes me feel better.” Plus, once they feel the difference (see our last post about “Skin on Skin”), they’ll likely be the ones booking your next appointment.

Scenario 2: Asking Them to Change (The Danger Zone)

This is the minefield. Maybe you prefer a smooth look, or maybe their stubble is exfoliating your face in a bad way. How do you ask for a change without sounding like a jerk who is body-shaming their partner?

The Strategy: Focus on Sensation, Not Aesthetics 

Never, ever say “I don’t like how it looks.” That’s a criticism. Instead, talk about how it feels to you. Talk about the connection.

• The “Stubble” Script: “Babe, I love kissing you, but the stubble is absolutely tearing up my skin. Do you mind softening it up or trimming it down so we can stay close longer?”
• The “Intimate” Script: “I really love the feeling of skin-on-skin when we’re together. It feels so much more intense for me. Would you be open to trying a smoother look down there? I’d love to try it out with you.”
• Why it works: You aren’t saying “you look bad.” You are saying “I want to be closer to you.” You’re framing the request around increasing pleasure and intimacy, which is a shared goal.

Scenario 3: The Golden Rule (Reciprocity)

Here is the hard truth: You cannot make demands from a glass house.

If you are asking your partner to be perfectly smooth while you are rocking a 1970s jungle, the conversation is going to end poorly. And it should.

Grooming is a two-way street. If you have a preference for them, you need to be willing to put in the effort yourself.

• The “Team Effort” Script: “Hey, I was thinking we could both upgrade our game a bit. If you’re willing to try X, I’m totally down to get Y done. Let’s make it a fun thing we do for each other.”

The Bottom Line

Your partner is not a mind reader. If you want something—whether it’s for your own body or theirs—you have to ask for it.

Approaching the conversation with respect, focusing on how it improves your intimacy, and leading by example is the way to go. And if you decide to take the plunge together? Well, that’s just a win-win.