The Top Drawer Upgrade: Pairing Your Underwear with Your Grooming

We spend a lot of time talking about what happens on your skin. But we rarely talk about what goes over it.

You’ve invested the time, money, and maybe a little pain into getting a professional groom. You are smooth, defined, and hygienic. And then… you pull on a pair of stretched-out, harsh cotton boxer briefs from a 3-pack you bought in 2019.

Gentlemen, we have to do better.

Grooming and underwear are a system. When you change one, you have to upgrade the other. Removing body hair changes the physics of your pants—it changes friction, sensitivity, and temperature. If you don’t adjust your gear, you’re missing out on the comfort you paid for.

Here is your guide to pairing your “downstairs” with your “top drawer.”

The Golden Rule: Hair Was Your Buffer

Here is the physics lesson. Body hair acts as a natural glide layer. It creates separation between your skin and your fabric.

When you remove that hair (especially with a Brazilian or a full leg wax), you are removing the buffer. Your skin is now in direct contact with your underwear.

• The Result: If you wear rough fabric, you will feel every thread. If you wear a cut that bunches, you will feel every fold.
• The Fix: The smoother you are, the softer your fabric needs to be.
• The Fabric Upgrade: If you are waxing, you need to graduate from cheap cotton to Micro-Modal or Bamboo. These fabrics are softer than silk, breathable, and designed to glide over skin rather than rub against it.

The Pairing Guide: Matching the Cut to the Groom

Different grooming styles have different needs.

The “Full Brazilian” (Smooth) + The Pouch Brief 

When you are completely smooth, things have a tendency to… stick. Without hair to create separation, skin-on-skin contact increases.

• The Play: You need Pouch Underwear (brands like Saxx, Shinesty, or Sheath). These have a built-in “hammock” that separates your boys from your thighs.
• Why: It prevents the “batwing” stickiness and keeps you cool. Plus, if you’ve gone full smooth, a brief or trunk shows off the definition you just revealed.

The “Clean Trim” + The Boxer Brief 

If you keep things trimmed but natural, you still have some texture.

• The Play: A high-quality Boxer Brief.
• Why: You want structure. A trim looks best when it’s supported. A boxer brief keeps everything high and tight, preventing friction while keeping you looking athletic.

The “Thick Thigh” King + The Long-Leg Boxer Brief 

This is for the guys who wax their legs. Listen to me closely: The “Chub Rub” is real.

• The Play: When you wax your inner thighs, you lose the hair that stopped your legs from chafing against each other. You must wear a boxer brief with a longer inseam (6 inch+).
• Why: You need a fabric layer between your thighs, or you will be walking like a cowboy by 2 PM.

The Classic Loose Boxer (The “Sleep Specialist”) If you are fully groomed/waxed, loose boxers are… tricky.

• The Problem: Zero support. When you have hair, it creates a buffer. When you are smooth, you get maximum skin-on-skin contact. In loose boxers, there is nothing stopping your bits from sticking to your thighs. It is “Batwing City” by noon.
• The Play: Relegate these to Sleeping or Post-Wax Recovery.
• Why: They are perfect for letting things breathe when you’re 48 hours post-wax or just lounging at home. But under jeans or dress pants? No way. Without the hair buffer or fabric support, you are going to feel every seam of your pants, and the friction will drive you crazy. Keep these for the bedroom, not the boardroom.

The “Commando” Question

I get asked this constantly. “Gary, should I just freeball it?”

The “Yes” Moment (Post-Wax)

For the first 24-48 hours after a wax, Going Commando is highly recommended (at least while sleeping or lounging). Your pores are open. Your skin is breathing. Tight elastic bands and seams are the enemy. Put on a pair of loose sweatpants and let things air out.

The “No” Moment (Jeans & Gym) 

Never go commando in denim. Without hair to protect you, the seams of your jeans will chafe you raw in an hour. And at the gym? Please, for the sake of everyone else in the squat rack, wear support.

The Bottom Line

You upgrade your phone. You upgrade your car. It’s time to upgrade your first layer.

If you’re walking around with a $100 groom and $5 underwear, you’re doing it wrong. Treat your assets with some respect.